The TV show “ALIAS” had me at first tooth pull. Tied to a chair, drugged out of her gourd and about to be tortured by having her chompers yanked by a Chinese agent, “Sidney” sasses her torturer by asking if he could “start with the back?”. Teeth that is. And he obliges. One aerial chair flip and a few bad-guy-dispensing minutes later, Sidney traipses into the CIA offices to offer herself as a double agent against the dastardly men of SD-6.

The show began with a decent enough premise and the characters were using some basic terminology like “dead drop“, “walk-in”, and “burn notice” in those first few episodes, but then the dialogue became less important than the overt sex-bomb competition in the wardrobe department. Was it just me or did it seem like the costume people on that show went out of their way to gussy-up Sidney in the most insane (and uncomfortable looking) get-ups known to spydom?

Another upshot to the show is that they went out of their way to make working for the CIA a noble and worthy profession, akin to serving in the military, instead of just being government group of reprobates out to eff with the world at large, as is sometimes portrayed in the media.

Where ALIAS does manage some elements of reality is how Sidney is only operational overseas. The CIA mission is that of a foreign intelligence unit, which means it is not operational inside the US. Or at least, it shouldn’t be. Which means the show ALIAS crosses the line when the CIA is employed to bring down SD-6. That would have been the FBI’s job, thank you very much.

Ultimately, the show grew into a silly monstrosity with all the supernatural nonsense of Rimbaldi, the zombie plague, and face switcheroos that made the show seem more like a bad combination of “The DaVinci Code” meets “Face Off” during a “Night of the Living Dead” triple feature. But I didn’t care and neither did you. Garner always sold it with a winning combination of vulnerability and roundhouse kick to the teeth. She’s the big sister you wished you had. Psychotic parents and all.

  1. […] a toss up for me as to whether I like Irina or Sidney better on TV’s “ALIAS”, but since Sidney came first with the teeth thing, Irina […]

  2. […] lot of dark, shiny surfaces. It really felt like someone had watched the opening credits of “ALIAS” one too many times. A museum attendant directs you to an elevator, you are crammed in a slew […]

  3. […] original little sociopath we have come to love. That, and it rips off another girl-gone-rogue show, ALIAS, bit time. And the bit about the planted protegé/mole? Really? I’m not hopeful of that plot […]

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